You may know that guy. Or you have met him at least once. He's the guy who adopts a specific persona while he's at work, a persona he thinks will put him on the fast track to professional success. He's pretty sure that if he gets it right, he'll fool everyone, build a fan base and win a promotion to the corner office.
There's only one problem: It isn't working. His persona is transparent, and instead of helping him, it's actually holding him back. Don't be that guy. If you find yourself trying too hard to be any of these people while at work, stop and change course. Let the go of the act and try just being yourself.
1. The Alpha Dog
What he wants people to say: "That guy is a natural leader. When he talks, people listen."
What people actually say: "He thinks he's some kind of big deal around here or something."
His problem: He wants to be listened to, but he isn't really listening when other people speak to him. He's too concerned about what he's going to say next, and he wants to choose words that sound commanding and confident. Meanwhile, his one-sided conversations cause him to miss important cues and valuable information that could help him actually gain his partner's respect.
How he can fix this: He needs to recognize that the only way to gain respect is to give respect first. In a conversation, he needs to genuinely concentrate on the other person's words, thoughts, intentions, and expressions.
2. The Hardest Worker
What she wants others to say: "She never settles for less than perfection."
What they actually say: "I don't know why she came into work with a contagious flu. I don't know who she thinks she's impressing."
Her problem: Everyone is human, and by acting as if human weaknesses don't apply to her, she's denying reality and setting an impossible bar for herself. Not only is she destined to fall below the bar, but her exaggerated standards will naturally reflect poorly on the more realistic standards of her coworkers, who may respond with irritation and resentment.
What she can fix: It's okay to hold yourself to high standards, but don't let your personal standards affect those around you. And don't let them become narrow, toxic or silly.
3. The Smart One
What he wants people to say: "That guy may be a jerk sometimes, but it's okay, because he's truly brilliant."
What they actually say: "That guy is a jerk."
His problem: He believes life is a competition in which those with superior knowledge win. Unfortunately, he doesn't have superior knowledge. But he's desperate to be acknowledged as the winner in a game nobody is playing but him.
What he can fix: True intelligence will out. So will exceptional skills. If a person genuinely possesses these qualities, they'll shine forth on their own. Meanwhile, people tend to like and respect those who do and say likeable and respectable things.
4. The Charm Factory
What she wants people to say: "She can sell ice in the artic…All she has to do is smile."
What people actually say: "Ugh. I wish she'd give it a rest."
Her problem: Charm is a powerful tool, but as with any tool or weapon, true mastery comes from knowing when NOT to use it.
What she can fix: She can gain more control over her on-off switch. When we're among friends who we trust, it's nice to demonstrate that trust by dropping our affectations.
The Career Boosting Power of Self-Awareness
Everybody wants to be liked and admired at work. But there are wise ways and foolish ways to reach out for the respect, acknowledgement and trust we need from those around us. Make things easy for yourself and start your work relationships off on the right foot by choosing the right job to begin with.
There's only one problem: It isn't working. His persona is transparent, and instead of helping him, it's actually holding him back. Don't be that guy. If you find yourself trying too hard to be any of these people while at work, stop and change course. Let the go of the act and try just being yourself.
1. The Alpha Dog
What he wants people to say: "That guy is a natural leader. When he talks, people listen."
What people actually say: "He thinks he's some kind of big deal around here or something."
His problem: He wants to be listened to, but he isn't really listening when other people speak to him. He's too concerned about what he's going to say next, and he wants to choose words that sound commanding and confident. Meanwhile, his one-sided conversations cause him to miss important cues and valuable information that could help him actually gain his partner's respect.
How he can fix this: He needs to recognize that the only way to gain respect is to give respect first. In a conversation, he needs to genuinely concentrate on the other person's words, thoughts, intentions, and expressions.
2. The Hardest Worker
What she wants others to say: "She never settles for less than perfection."
What they actually say: "I don't know why she came into work with a contagious flu. I don't know who she thinks she's impressing."
Her problem: Everyone is human, and by acting as if human weaknesses don't apply to her, she's denying reality and setting an impossible bar for herself. Not only is she destined to fall below the bar, but her exaggerated standards will naturally reflect poorly on the more realistic standards of her coworkers, who may respond with irritation and resentment.
What she can fix: It's okay to hold yourself to high standards, but don't let your personal standards affect those around you. And don't let them become narrow, toxic or silly.
3. The Smart One
What he wants people to say: "That guy may be a jerk sometimes, but it's okay, because he's truly brilliant."
What they actually say: "That guy is a jerk."
His problem: He believes life is a competition in which those with superior knowledge win. Unfortunately, he doesn't have superior knowledge. But he's desperate to be acknowledged as the winner in a game nobody is playing but him.
What he can fix: True intelligence will out. So will exceptional skills. If a person genuinely possesses these qualities, they'll shine forth on their own. Meanwhile, people tend to like and respect those who do and say likeable and respectable things.
4. The Charm Factory
What she wants people to say: "She can sell ice in the artic…All she has to do is smile."
What people actually say: "Ugh. I wish she'd give it a rest."
Her problem: Charm is a powerful tool, but as with any tool or weapon, true mastery comes from knowing when NOT to use it.
What she can fix: She can gain more control over her on-off switch. When we're among friends who we trust, it's nice to demonstrate that trust by dropping our affectations.
The Career Boosting Power of Self-Awareness
Everybody wants to be liked and admired at work. But there are wise ways and foolish ways to reach out for the respect, acknowledgement and trust we need from those around us. Make things easy for yourself and start your work relationships off on the right foot by choosing the right job to begin with.
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